" Recognizing the public need for fasting and prayer in order to secure the blessings and protection of Providence for the people of the United States and our Armed Forces during the conflict in Iraq and under the threat of terrorism at home. "

Because this is the fucking United States of America, I'm sure that we'll all be encouraged to fast and pray in our fucking way. I plan on sacrificing a goat and gorging myself then and there with the beast's hot, raw flesh. That always strengthens my resolve. I'll pour the blood I cannot drink out of my apartment's window onto the heads of the nice missionary Mormon boys who walk endlessly up and down my block. I will surely recognize my faults and shortcomings then.

Or maybe I'll just invite my wife to join me at Dali. If everyone else is fasting, we'll actually be able to get a table.

Of course, if our legislators were actually legislating, they'd only be fucking things up even worse.