Buried amid the endless offers to hook me up with great deals, free stuff, great and/or free sex, and the chance to help former African dictators for a bit of remuneration, occasionally I get curiosities.
. . .
[slightly edited for prettiness]
Greetings,We need a vendor who can offer immediate supply. I'm offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender which is actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment. Contact details of vendor required, including name and phone #. If they turn out to be reliable in supplying the below equipment I'll immediately pay you $5,000. We prefer to work with vendor in the Boston/New York area.
- The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with z80 or better memory adapter. If in stock the AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1 units would be great if reliable models are available.
- The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement. Needed with complete jumper/auxiliary system.
- A reliable crystal Ionizor with unlimited memory backup.
- I will also pay for schematics, layouts, and designs directly from the manufacturer which can be used to build this equipment from readily available parts.
If your vendor turns out to be reliable, I owe you $5,000.
Email his details to me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com (please do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you).
. . .
I'm afraid my correspondent, under item #1, is mistaking the Mind Warper (Gen.4 series) wrist watch with the AMD Four Dimensional Warp Generator (4DWG), two very different pieces of equipment, which to the best of my knowledge, do not come in an "all-in-1" configuration. However, you can get the 4DWG in a bundle with the Acme 5x24 Time Transducing Capacitor (23200 hasn't licensed their model for integration in this century, which is why I'd go with the Acme). I'd definitely recommend the bundle, or else the 4DWG is only good for stopping relative time or walking through walls, both of which get old fast. And I far prefer the voice activated 4DWG to the GUI interface despite the cost and time of training it: it has a much quicker activation, which is useful when a witch-hunting mob or a hungry sabertooth is after you.
I'm not sure you can get the Acme without the temporal displacement anymore - not that you'd want to. Nothing like starting a trip in an empty field only to find that it was an old growth forest five hundred (or five million) years ago. Or a volcano. I'm glad to see that my correspondent is also interested in the complete jumper/auxiliary system. Inertial shifts in your frame of reference can be very disorienting, if not dangerous.
The Mind Warper (Gen.4) is certainly a useful piece of equipment for the temporal traveller who wants to blend in, but you shouldn't expect to find it packaged with the other pieces of equipment on the list. It is very delicate and quite sensitive to sudden shocks. In fact, you should make sure you keep it at least forty centimeters away from your Time Transducing Capacitor while jumping from one time to another or else you might wind up forgetting who you are. Not a pleasant prospect.
Now I'm afraid my friend has been sold a bill of goods on item #3. The crystal Ionizor with unlimited memory backup is a myth. Sooner or later, you're going to run out of memory. Just look for an Ionizor with enough memory for four jaunts - and preset your return! - and you'll be fine for most needs. Only historians and archeologists really need any more than that.
I don't know why everybody always wants to pay to get ahold of the schematics. I mean, you can get instructions on building your own off of the internet for free. I understand that the safeguards in the commercial models are calibrated to a higher standard than most hobbyists can achieve, but the schematics really don't help if you don't have access to specialized manufacturing tools.
Of course, I sent along the contact information for a couple of good tour guides. They have solid, tested equipment, good insurance plans, and won't let this tourist step on any butterflies.
UPDATE: The zeitgeist seems to be turning toward "Time Travel" this week. There's a new Terminator movie in the multiplexes and Wired has an article this month.
Posted by Martial