Greatest Hits

Crooked Timber is wasting bandwidth with that perennial barroom argument: the "Ten Greatest Albums of All Time". If it's good enough for Rolling Stone, so they seem to think. (If it's good enough for Crooked Timber, so I seem to think . . .)

Attempting to make some sort of objective, quantitative statement about what is subjective and qualitative is a mug's game. Essentializing pop music - anything really (paintings, novels, interior decoration, politics) - generally shows people at their worst.

When I use the word "qualitative" I use it judiciously to mean "quality of life". While our contemporary environment exposes us to a terrible amount of aesthetic abuse, we also consciously immerse ourselves in the sound of our own desire. In other words, most of us listen to music for pleasure. What we choose to listen to is chosen precisely because it affords us some sort of comfort, whether a warm blanket of rage, the cool menthol of hipness, a shiny plastic happiness, or a million other feelings. We listen to music because it impacts our quality of life.

So, you undoubtedly get some benefit from something that sounds like pure noise to me, while yet another may get himself through the day with what you consider to be pure tripe. The only relevant measure of "greatest" albums, the only question about music worth asking is simply: what ten records got you through the last year?

In alphabetical order, and with the understanding that this list is for 2003 and not for any other time period, the albums that built this blog:

Appetite for Destruction, Guns 'n Roses
Celebrity Skin, Hole
Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
Inflammable Material, Stiff Little Fingers
Murmur, REM
Red Dirt Girl, Emmylou Harris
Retreat From the Sun, That Dog
Say Something Nasty, Nashville Pussy
Stone Roses, Stone Roses
Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea, PJ Harvey

. . .

Mrs Martial points out that my utter lack of criteria about which anyone can argue is singularly effective at shutting down conversation. She wonders if that is what I'm trying to do and whether or not she should be rethinking this whole moving in with me business.

She also thinks that the top five barroom arguments are:

• "Greatest Managerial Failures in Red Sox History" which is so depressing that people have to move on to something more emotionally neutral like


• "Greatest Movies" which often devolves into


• "Which Action Hero Kicks Which Other Action Hero's Ass" which probably consumes enough alcohol to bring us to


• "Tastes Great! Less Filling!" until we stumble out of the bar yelling


• "No Way! Way!"

. . .

Finally, those who think that having some qualitative measure to separate the wheat from the chaff is, well, essential should make healthy use of the Musical Correctness calculator. Lord knows I do.

. . .

UPDATE: Hee hee! Tim Grierson weighs in with "The Top 500 Reasons Rolling Stone Still Doesn't Matter".

Posted by Martial